Playing Games

"Katotohanan"
It's funny how that word gets around. This day alone, it was probably spoken at least a thousand times in the impeachment case as opposition congressmen tried to fire up the sparks to back their case. Instead of firing me up, however, it only helped to make me more dubious of this entire affair. The impeachment trial is looking more and more like a game to me, wherein each side claims to be for the Filipinos. Their strategy is, of course, stirring up people's feelings because in a country where education is almost a luxury, feelings are the closest thing one gets to rational thinking. Thus, their constant reference to the impeachment case as "katotohanan".
But is it really the truth?
The truth is most of the time a universe away from what media presents as the truth. (Well, in the Philippines, at least). What they call katotohanan is not all katotohanan. I'm not saying that GMA did not cheat or that she never called Garci, but in their constant reference to the impeachment as katotohanan, they are actually lying to the people. The impeachment is far from finding the truth. It does not take a dummy to realize that. They've been dropping hints, even through their carefully worded speeches. Their belying vigilance to the truth only brings out the real truth as to why they are so adamantly pushing for GMA's resignation. Party politics.
The impeachment is about politics. It's a game wherein the side that rallies the most people wins.

Horrible

Still no cable and I'm suffering from watching too much Filipino shows. The show that really ticks me off is "Pinoy Big Brother" --- all that fuss for nothing. I mean, they were making such a big hype about it and this is what we get? A spin-off of yes yes show or something? I thought it was supposed to be real, but I guess there's no such thing as real, not even in reality shows in the Philippines. Here goes ABS-CBN putting as much fiction as they could into a show that's supposed to be real. I suppose one cannot really blame them. After all, the Filipinos are not as wild as other societies, and the only interesting aspect of our society is our daily struggles against poverty. (A fact they obviously took away in Pinoy Big Brother). We can't even imitate well.

Where's my umbrella????

Someone stole my umbrella today. I was in the library,studying, and like a good student I left my umbrella outside. Lo and behold when I get back got out, it vanishes without a trace as if it had been in the bermuda triangle. Now, obviously umbrellas can't walk so I have come to my conclusion that my precious little red rain buddy has been stolen.
I suppose I got what I deserved. This isn't really the first time this had happened. Back in college (and it what many would say a more elite school) my black umbrella was stolen. Well, I didn't learn my lesson, and now in a new school, a new thief has stolen my umbrella. (I wasn't the only victim though, two other girls couldn't find their umbrellas, therefore strengthening my belief that it was stolen). It's annoying to think that I am a victim again, but am I to be completely blamed for trusting that no one would steal an umbrella? Are times that hard, or are our values that screwed up that people have no qualms about just taking something. I used to think not, but frankly the more umbrellas they steal from me, the more I don't believe in the people's integrity.

Henry James

I just saw Benjamin Britten's "The Turn of the Screw" last friday. Absoluetly loved it, although it was heartbreaking that Miles should die at the end. I still haven't figured out much of the story. I mean what happened to Miles, and what did Mrs. Grouse mean when she said Peter Quint was free with both Miles and Ms. Jessel? Hmmmm. I suppose I have my entire live left to figure it out. Henry James is such an intellectual writer, he attacks a story as if it were something made out of science and not imagination. Yes, he turns story writing into a science, which makes his writing harder to read for me. I tried to read "Turn of the Screw" and got lost in his ocean of words and words and words. Nevertheless, I still adore him. His "Daisy Miller" was one of my early favorites, and so is "Portrait of a Lady". He has a way with writing subtle, sad imagery, which always outweighs the intellectualism of his writing.

The Old man and Me

Sometimes, the loneliest place in the world is being inside a room full of people. Loneliness is a sorrow given to but a few people, or so I think.

This afternoon I saw an old man gathering up empty plastic cups that was litering the gutter. I was eating then when I saw him and I almost cried. I don't understand why I feel so much for lonely old men. Maybe it's because I know how it feels to feel so alone in this world. There are no words to describe how vast and empty the world feels when you're lonely. It's as if everyone had simply left you behind because no one cares about you. It's absolutely devastating.

Someday I'd like to help old men like him. I wished I could have helped him now, but what could a poor student like me do, not only to him but to others like him? Maybe I'm being too much of dreamer to think that I'll help him later. The truth is, I'll probably forget about him and others, and succumb to the temptations of money and luxury. Or maybe I'll end up just as poor and helpless as him. I hope I don't, but the future is still wide and open in front of me. All I can really do now is hope, for him and for me.